Tonight I am tired. Today I was tired. Yes I was up late last night enjoying a meal and drinks with friends but this tiredness is emotional. I am exhausted with my feelings. With second guessing with looking in the mirror and never knowing if I a, going to like what I see. I think I have been staying in Berlin for the wrong reason. I think I am staying here because I know that if I leave it’s over for good. I will never have a chance with him again. I will be on the other side of the world. No chance for a reunion. No chance…. No chance at a future. I need to keep reminding myself that he is not the one for me. I guess I just can’t admit I failed and I hold onto hope. As I am a fool. That still can’t let go of this love I have. I wish I could just pack all this up in a box and remember it as a beautiful moment in my life and just appreciate it.hopefully I will get to that point. For now I am just tired and really need some sleep.