Each day I am going to take a photo of myself and share it here. Each day I will write about my emotional state. I want to share to capture how I feel at a moment in time. I want to share the good and the bad. I want a record of what it’s like to live inside my head. This first image is the mask I wear. The brave face I put on to the rest of the world. When inside all I want to do is cry. I am heart broken. I just don’t know which way to turn, my body is weighed down with grief and exhaustion. I feel an over whelming exhaustion at the world and at having to fight for everything. I knew the relationship was coming to an end but I had hope that it might work. That I would come back to Berlin and we would talk and we would decide to move forward and forgive and love each other. I was wrong. Like I seem to always be and in these times I have no strength. No strength strength to get out of bed, to eat, to talk, to be alive. So I just put on a brave face and pretend and it destroys me inside. I am a fraud. I am not strong and this other photo is the truth of how I feel today. Shattered and full of tears.