Thirty

I am laying on my bed, in my apartment in Berlin, sipping sparkling red wine waiting for my twenties to end. I am content. There really isn’t many other places I would rather be. Yes I would love to see my friends and family but that just isn’t an option right now and it just means we have another reason to drink more champagne and gin next time I see them.
I was terrified of turning Thirty a year ago. Not so much now. I was convinced I had to have it all figured out. Now I have resigned to the fact that I am never going to have it figured out. The best I can do is trust my instincts and do what makes me happy most of the time. As I am not naive enough to believe you are meant to be happy all the time. That really isn’t possible. In the last few months I have learnt to give in and go with the flow a lot more. Not in all cases but I am getting better at it. I have also learnt on this adventure that not everyone has to like you. That you don’t have to like everyone just as long as you’re polite to everyone life is a hell of a lot easier and a there is so much less stress.
As I mentioned I still have no idea where my life is headed. I know where I want it to be for now and that is right here in Berlin. Who knows what is around the corner though. I am still waiting on a visa. I have my trip to Africa. Hell I might even fall in love again at some stage.
What I do know is that I am lucky. I have got to live a life I never dreamed of two years ago, a life I never knew I wanted to live. I have got to live my dreams and not everyone gets that chance. Now here I am waiting for the next chapter to begin and I am more excited than terrified. So once again Happy Birthday me and happy Birthday to all of you.HappyBdayLexAndDean

XO
LL

 

PS: Thank you to a dear old friend for the the fantastic poster/picture/what-ever. My love for Dean Cain will never fade.

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