The evening of the date came around. There had been quiet a few texts back and forth and we settled on Sunday evening at 8pm or as they prefer here in Germany 20hr, they are big fans of twenty four hour time. He originally wanted to show me a castle out in an area called Charlottenburg. An area about 30 minutes from my place, which I have never been before and I still really have no idea what this guys deal is nice guy, murdered, socially awkward… So I vetoed that idea and suggested to meet closer to the city. In the end I changed the time to 8:30, I was really tired after seeing Vengaboys the night before and needed a nap. Then I committed a sin I hate. I was late. I hate being late and I normally give myself plenty of time to be some where but I just screwed it up. Missed a train, got on a train going in the wrong direction, then had to wait ages.mi felt awful and I kept thing man he is going to think I am standing him up or that I am playing stupid mind games. Which I would like to point out I am not actually capable of as I am really bad at this whole dating thing. So I finally made it to thecorect location 30 minutes late and he isn’t there so I text, “I’m here” nothing for what seemed like an eternity. Internal monologue ” He is being childish and making me wait just to get back at me. Nope he has left he got feed up with waiting and just left. I don’t blame him, I was 30 minutes late. I didn’t mean to be it was an accident. He is a total psycho any way, who asks a girl out on the street. Nut bar. How dare he stand me up. Is that him? What does he look like? OMG he could be right next to me and I wouldn’t remember” then I sent a panicked text to a friend explained how I was late and how I think he has left. He turns up at that moment and Oh my god. So much better looking than I remembered…So much better looking. Think Chris O’Donnell, younger than he is now, batman and robin era. I was completely taken back by this as when I meet him he had a beanie on and a big coat and I was more concerned that he might be trying to steal my wallet instead of taking in his features. Other than I knew he had nice eyes. This time he was wearing jean (dark blue) a leather jacket with a grey hoodie jacket underneath and beneath that a fine knit/wool navy v-neck jumper which I can only assume with a white T-shirt underneath, he was wearing converse sneakers, black with no laces. Very well put together outfit, highly approved of it.
When he gets there he walks up to me, says hello and kisses me on the cheek, I am blushing again, I don’t think I stop blushing the entire time. We start walking down the road, me apologizing for being late. I could tell he was annoyed at me for it, what else could I do but apologies though, I don’t have a time machine and if I did I wouldn’t use it for that. We keep walking along he said he knew an Indian restaurant around the corner that is nice. Turns out I knew the one he is talking of as I had stayed in that area on another trip to Berlin. Now he chose a table slightly in the middle of the restaurant, I was taken back by this, normally on a date when you get a choice you go the corner with a wall, so you can be kind of hidden epically on a first date (Tip #1 for boys taking girls on date or someone attempting to date me) you don’t want to be out in the open. If your out in the open there is little chance of making subtle contact like touching a hand briefly or legs brushing each other and their is defiantly no chance of a cheeky kiss across the table. He orders two beers for us, I figure it’s just easier to drink the same as him. Even though I am quiet over beer at this stage. I much prefer wine or gin but you can’t drink gin when they are drinking beer, I was thank full for it being a pot though. Pints may be economic but man it’s sometimes just to much liquid. We just chat away the usual first date kind of questions, what do you do, where are you from etc etc? Turns out he is finishing his masters in matrix polynomials, he was embarrassed about this and I did need to point out, I am a scientist, I am also a giant nerd so no need to apologies for being one as well. After a little while a guy walks in selling roses and I am terrified that he is going to buy me one. I just put my head down and let him talk to the guy. Who I could see out of the corner of my eye was just staring at my chest, I continue to blush. The buying of the rose CAN be romantic but I am not that kind of girl and then you’re just left with a single rose sitting on the table between you and having to carry it around the rest of the evening so not really a good idea (Tip #2 don’t buy roses in restaurants).
Then on the table behind us in my direct line of sight this couple begin to suck each others faces off, not appropriate and I can’t help but stare and then this is awkward as I have to point it out and now was are staring at a kissing couple and I obviously look revolted and am saying I am which I realise might make him think I am not into him or want him to kiss me later, which at this point I am not sure if I want him to kiss me or not.
We are both leaning in a lot. Our hands are nearly touching. I am over thinking everything I do. Am I leaning in to much? Am I talking to much? Can he see my bra? Why did I wear this outfit I look terrible? I start giggling which is what I do when I am nervous but in all honestly it is going well. I think…There are no real awkward silences, we are teasing each other a little bit, I am doing my best to flirt and smile and I can tell he is a little nervous too. I find out all the major things, his parents are divorced. He rides a motorbike, doesn’t have one at the moment as he totaled it, he wasn’t hurt on the accident. He studied in LA for 8 months has traveled around Europe is going to Amsterdam in December, not the weekend I am there. He plays basketball on a Monday night and swims with a friend another night. He tutors math during the week and has only 10-20 pages left on his masters thesis and wants to do a pHD. We talk about travel and how I need to learn German and how long I am going to stay in Berlin. This is a hard question to answer on a first date in a foreign country that you have just started calling home. As saying you are leaving at a set time already time stamps the relationship and can and will most likely completely define the relationship form the out set but I bumbled through an answer and it seemed fine.
We have two drinks and then it is time to leave well he asked for the bill so indicating time to leave and I thought, ok that was nice I guess he is bored and wants to leave or would prefer somewhere quieter and not in the middle of a restaurant. The bill comes and I get out my wallet expecting him to say. “No I’ll get this.” He doesn’t. I pay half, it’s fair but part of me always feels that if a guy asks you out and you really don’t know them before hand the least they can do is pay for your drinks, they asked you out (Tip #3 guys pay for the drinks if you asked her out) I also wasn’t sure if it was a cultural thing or if it was because he was a bit younger than me? (I would be very happy to know what other people think about this).
We start walking back towards the train station and he says why don’t we go for a drinks here but follows it up with well actually I can’t have any more because I am driving, I go that’s ok let’s just head back to the station, I don’t need another drink. Drinking whilst he watched me drink would have be weird and it was far to late for coffee at this stage. We have gone a little way and we are walking much closer together this time, our hands touch. He takes my hand in his we walk for a little then he stops and moves that hand to the small of my back. Takes his other hand and place it under my chin, his fingers going into my hair, cupping my cheek and leans down to me whilst pulling me into his body slightly keeping eye contact whilst he leans in, building the tension, letting me just stare into his blue eyes, then kisses me. Slightly open mouth, firm and with only a little tongue he nibbles on my lower lip. (Tip #4 this is how you kiss a girl for the first time, it’s really all about the hand on the side of the face, amazing) we continue on our walk back chatting him stopping to kiss me ever few meters, this does make me feel somewhat uncomfortable as I am not a big believer in public displays of affection aka the PDA, unless boozed and on a dance floor that is. I knew that the question would come up of going back to his place now that I knew he had a car and was kissing me quiet passionately. It was raised “Do you want to come back to mine for another drink” “No, but thank you for asking, I am not that kind of girl.” Yuck, how cliche of me for saying that but I knew no other way of saying. If I knew you better, maybe but I am not going back to your place to be stuck there where anything could happen. I wanted to scream I JUST MET YOU, WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A HUSSY OR SOMETHING. Then I also think well he was always going to try and would I also be insulted if he didn’t ask me? Yep I can be a tad crazy about stuff like this I think we all can be, boys and girls included.
He then offered to drive me home and I am not one to turn down a lift and potentially some quality snogging in a car so I gave him my address and then he goes oh that’s kind far my response don’t worry I will catch the train like planned. (Tip #5 don’t take back the offer of a lift, it’s rude and makes you seem either cheap, lazy or not interested) this time I was semi ok with it though as it meant I didn’t have to have the awkward conversation when I got out of his car and didn’t invite him up to my place. As previously stated didn’t want to do anything this evening other than a nice first date and some kissing. Also I just moved into my apartment and I don’t want to upset my housemate or have him think I am a slut. Plus I still don’t really know this guy that well, he could steal things from the house. I can tell he doesn’t want the evening to end just yet, maybe he is thinking that if he kisses me some more I might change my mind and go back to his house. So we go for a walk. Talking, kissing, talking, it’s nice. I like him, we get along. I do at this point ask him how old he is. I know I shouldn’t but I just feel awkward knowing I am older than he is, I just want to know what kind of age difference I am working with here and I want him to realize that too. So I ask, he is 24. I had guessed 25, he is more mature than the 24 year olds back home and I tell him I am 29. I am not really sure how he feels about that, I just feel old. It’s odd how I attract younger men or boys as some might call them, I don’t mean to it just happens, I fear I am getting a reputation, not that that’s an issue here in Berlin but I think there a differences in what a 24yo and 29yo want. In saying that I am not looking to settle down straight away and have babies but I am at a point in my life where I can’t be bothered playing games, I just want honesty and I am not adverse to a holiday romance or fling I just really don’t have time for the games any more it’s exhausting.
So we walk and talk and kiss and it’s fun. Also I get to feel his abdomen and man this guy is ripped under that navy blue knit, I am going to have to do sit ups and not eat for the next few weeks to feel adequate with taking any clothing off near that kind of body, but that’s jumping to far ahead of myself. We make plans to see each other when I get back from London. I suggest we could always see each other before I go he seems keen, he makes sure I am taking my phone to London with me. All signs seem good, he still wants to show me the castle and we talk about Christmas markets…maybe this is the start of a winter romance. Who knows? I text him when I get home to thank him for a lovely evening, I don’t even question if this is wrong as we just got along so well and he replies with he had a sweet time as well! This is when crazy kicks in and I question everything. Sweet time, what the hell does that mean? Are you the “kids” using the word sweet now and I have missed it? Am I really that old? I stew on it what does this mean?? I consult with a friend and she puts me onto a website, he texted (Tip #6 just be straight up in texts and don’t use emoticons unless your a 13yo girl plus tone is lost in 500 characters) and after reading it for the whole day I have realised that there are some class one CRAZY people out there and I am not going to be one of them.
We had a nice time, it was fun. From the way he kissed me I am assuming I will see him again but if I don’t, well these things happen and there will be someone else that wants to take me out and wine and dine me. Who knows what or who is just around the corner, it was just lovely to be noticed and to have a it of old fashion romance.
Will keep you posted…